Community Leadership and Gangs

Community leadership is:

1. Investigation – Knowing what the burning issues are, or the “community cry”, as I like to call it. This can be determined by surveys, focus groups and town hall meetings where the public is engaged to address local concerns that are directly affecting their quality of life.
2. Involvement – Community leadership need not be a “top down” structure. In fact, it is usually more effective when it is led by grassroots, or “bottom-up” leadership that comes from the unelected, un-bureaucratic strings that slow the process for taking action.
3. Investment – While it is true that something can be done about issues with little or no money, a lot more can be accomplished when those entities who control the community purse strings invest in the development of committees, strategic plans, and employees to implement the plans developed. This includes investors from both the public and private sectors of the community. The more private money the better, as, again, it usually does not come with all the strings that hinder and limit needed action.
4. Influence – Once the issues have been identified, plans have been discussed openly with any and all concerned and investors have been secured to hire employees to implement the plan, a campaign is needed to raise awareness, recruit volunteers and educate the constituents about the purpose, goals and objectives of the action plan to sustain it until the goals are achieved.

Using the above principles, my intention here is to raise awareness and focus the attention of community leadership on the local youth street gangs. The first principle of “Investigation” has been accomplished by many communities and does not need further elaboration here, except to say that those who decide to be involved with the gang issues should remain students, keeping up with all the changing data regarding gangs. As one writer put it, “if there is any constant in today’s gangs…it is their changing forms…”

Youth violence and street gangs continue to be a concern for many communities across the country. According to the National Gang Threat Assessment 2009, law enforcement now estimates there to be one million gang members in America! This is a substantial increase from the estimate of 760,000 in 2006. No one seems to be quite sure if the reason for the increase is because of an actual increase of youth joining gangs, more communities paying more attention to, or finally acknowledging their gang problem, or simply a faulty methodology for collecting accurate gang membership data. My guess is that it is some combination of all of the above.

For many communities, this “old problem” for others, is a new problem for them and they are searching for answers. Unfortunately, there are not a lot of answers to be found and it is more about learning what not to do, than what to do, that has been tried unsuccessfully by other communities. Most community’s first order of business has been to involve law enforcement. That is understandable given the crime associated with gangs. However, new gang communities should also learn that over time, law enforcement is not a solution to the gang problem, but only a normal and necessary reaction to the gang problem. In other words, if a crime is committed by any person or group of people, we expect law enforcement to react and do their work accordingly. But the problem does not end there, nor should it be expected to any more than chopping off weeds at the surface should be expected to end the problem of the weeds growing back. Nevertheless, many communities continue to go down this well trodden road of heavy suppression tactics to solve the gang problem.  While suppression can provide a temporary “quick fix”, that gives our “front lawn” a neat and orderly appearance for awhile, in due season, the weeds grow right back.

The Roots of the Issue

Gangs exist for a reason. Youth are drawn to this destructive lifestyle for a reason. We may not like, agree with, or accept their reasoning, but gangs continue to exist and grow regardless, and that alone should cause us to step back and think more deeply about this gang phenomenon that continues to allude a solution. This is why I use the metaphor of “weeds”, because, like gangs, we have never been able to solve the weed problem and have come to simply accept it as a fact of life, rather than a problem that can be solved. Yes, we can solve it better in some places than others. We can replace real grass with astro-turf and rid ourselves of having to deal with the problem. But that solution is artificial and comes at the expense of giving up enjoying the nature of the real deal. In any case, in the end, weeds exist, will continue to exist and in some places thrive, due to environments beyond our ability to control. Unfortunately, the same can be said about gangs. As the professor of criminal justice at the University of Illinois, Chicago, author, and gang expert John Hagedorn says: “today’s gangs are not going away soon, no matter what we do.”

As I have studied, watched and been actively involved with the gang issue over the years, I suggest, that communities should view gangs, like weeds, as a fact of life, and not as a problem they can get rid of. I know that sounds pessimistic or maybe even cynical, but that is not my intention. My intention is to be realistic. Realistic about how feasible it is for communities to expect to put an end to the gang problem, when they can’t even solve its root causes:

1. Poverty – Statistics show that wherever there is poverty, there will be a high probability of gang spawning. The U.S. government declared a “war on poverty” decades ago, but we are not any closer to solving the problem of poverty. According to the United Nations, nearly one billion people live in slums, 12 million in the U.S. alone. And by 2020, the UN predicts that half of the world’s urban population will live in poverty.
2. Drugs – UN studies show that illegal drugs are a $400 billion global business equaling 8% of the global economy. And Professor Hagedorn tells us that, “In Chicago, like elsewhere in the United States, cocaine transformed gangs into economic enterprises”. Accordingly, drugs are a major motivator and a strong tool of recruitment for youth to join gangs and make quick cash.
3. Racism – Aside from the “normal” race issues our country has battled before and after the civil rights movement, racism has become a factor amongst the gang sub-culture, according to recent revelations from interviews and court documents with Mexican Mafia gang members and associates. Prison gangs are divided by race. Prison gangs continue to have influence over many local street gangs. According to the record, many seemingly “senseless” murders have been part of a Mexican Mafia ethnic cleansing initiative begun in the 1990’s.
4. Broken Families – The 50% divorce rate of married couples in America has been known for many years. In addition, we have also exposed many of the family secrets of abuse and neglect children suffer at the hands of their parents/guardians behind closed doors. Today, we are dealing with the attempt to re-define the nuclear family and the institution of marriage, which will certainly carry its own consequences (unintended or not). The bottom line is the effect all these things combined will have on the future health and happiness of our children and their children. By their own admission, an unhealthy home life is one of, if not the main reason, why youth join gangs in the first place.

Given the above root causes for creating gangs (and other negative lifestyles); I suggest being realistic is an important factor in determining community strategy. Approaching a problem to get rid of is a different mentality than approaching a fact of life. We all hope that the scourges of poverty, drug addiction, racism and dysfunctional families would disappear. Nevertheless, we have all had to learn to live with these things, and in many cases have been victims touched personally by one, two or all of the above.

Choosing Your Battlefield

By being realistic I do not mean to suggest giving in or giving up just because these facts of life are in our midst. Even Jesus said, “the poor you will always have with you”, but He did not mean to imply that we should do nothing about it, but simply to recognize it as something to acknowledge and deal with correctly, fairly, justly, reasonably. Thus, each community must do the same regarding gangs. It means that we shift our focus from the problems gangs create, to the problems that create gangs. We know what to do about the problems gangs create. That is the job of law enforcement. It is the root causes outlined above that communities often choose to neglect or acknowledge as battlefields that need more of our time, energy and resources.

I have no doubt your community has many fine leaders (perhaps you are one) and community organizations already in the trenches dealing with all of the root issues I mentioned and more. And if by chance you are not already involved, I pray this article has stirred something deep within you to cause you to consider joining the battle for the safety of your neighborhood or community with your family, friends and colleagues. Because the fact is, we are responsible for the quality of life in our community more so than the police or any other government agency.

My cousin recently wrote to me and said: “I’d like to ask, as an individual, what can I do?  In my small city 4 miles square, there are so many gangs.”

The answer to that question is which battlefield is most important to you? Which issue is closest to your heart? Which problem strikes a chord within and ignites your passion to get involved? Once you decide that, you can either take part in a community focus group or forum (Investigation).  Volunteer at a local nonprofit as a mentor or other place of service (Involvement). You might want to become an annual donor to one of the faith-based or nonprofits working in your particular areas of concern (investment). Finally, you might consider using your speaking or writing talents to attend city council meetings, or write a letter to the newspaper expressing your views and solutions. Believe me the words of voters do carry power with politicians! (Influence)

Now if you’re still not sure about what you can do, let me suggest the following: Community leadership starts in the home. This is why the role of parents and the influence we have on our children is so crucial to perpetuate and preserve any amount of safety we can expect in our neighborhoods. This is what I have chosen as my battlefield and I invite you to join me, along with many other “Parents on a Mission” (POM), as I call them, who are dedicated to their own personal growth in learning the required skills to raise happy, healthy children as the best gang prevention strategy any community can invest in. If you are not a parent, or a parent of small children, then you are the perfect candidate for enrolling in the POM leadership training. If you kids are already teens or older, this leadership training will still help you, as well as, help you to help others.

Join the leadership Movement for Gang Prevention

Finally, as with any community problem, leadership is the key. And, as mentioned earlier, leadership can come from anywhere and anyone in the community willing to invest their ideas, talent, and/or time and resources to ongoing efforts already in place. Or perhaps be part of initiating a new movement of creative solutions. However you decide to get involved, I can assure you that your leadership will make a difference and help improve your community and prevent more children from joining gangs than if you choose not to get involved at all.

If you are interested in learning more about “Parents on a Mission”, and joining me in our leadership movement for gang prevention, please visit:

www.richardrramos.com/gang-prevention

Sincerely,

Richard

GANG PREVENTION TRAINING

Dear Friends:

As we draw near to the “Parents on a Mission” (POM) Gang Prevention Training in Los Angeles on Saturday, June 27th and Sunday, June 28th, allow me to reach out to you one more time with a special offer that you cannot refuse!

Special Offer – TWO FOR ONE DEAL – SIGN UP AND BRING A COLLEAGUE (or friend) FOR FREE!! Yes, for FREE!
Come on now, is that a deal or is that a deal? (Or maybe I should ask, “deal or no deal?”).

Go Here to SIGN UP NOW!

As you’ve heard, this is unlike most (if not all) of the “gang prevention” trainings out there.  The focus in this training is on empowering parents, rather than the community, as the best prevention strategy any community can invest their time and resources in.  And that is an important distinction to make given the ongoing investment in suppression and intervention practices being made around the country.  But prevention is different. It is not intervention after the fact. It is a pro-active approach to keep kids from ever going down the path of joining a gang.

However, to accomplish true prevention it will take parents. Parents are the primary gate keepers of raising happy, healthy children-with the rest of the community supporting the role and authority of parents, not replacing it.

Many claim it “takes a village” to raise a child. POM says it does not take a village, but only one family and good parenting to raise a child.  Yes, police, probation, parks, pools and community programs are helpful. Yet, they can not replace good “old fashioned” respect and obedience to parental authority.

If we are to win this competition with gangs, it will be won inside the home, behind closed doors. If we fail to focus on empowering parents and continue to fail to solve the other social issues that create gangs, the community effort of creating and funding more programs and well intentioned coalitions, will not succeed in reducing gang activity from our neighborhoods.

It’s not that programs don’t work at all, however the problem is we continue to produce more and more candidates for gang recruitment in each generation and it seems as if we are falling further behind and growing a bigger problem – WHY??? – WHAT IS MISSING?

What is missing is the fact that marriages and child rearing are not what they used to be. And as the foundation of human relationships has continued to erode over the past fifty years, (not to mention the growth and influence of graphic movies, music and magazines) more and more children continue to search for validation, meaning and everything else to fill the void in their hearts that yearns for unconditional love.  Am I right or wrong?

Go Here to SIGN UP NOW

So if we want to stop gangs from continuing on and growing generation after generation, doesn’t it make sense to work on the front end, rather than always reacting on the back end? All social group members age, or move on to other things, and depend on “fresh blood” to continue the legacy, don’t they?  So what is the best way to cut off new recruits?  I’ll come back to answer that in a minute, but one thing the last fifty years has taught us is what doesn’t work and that is creating more “social programs”.  A lack of programs has not been the problem, and if it was the answer, we would have solved the gang problem a long time ago.

So here’s what’s happening my friends:

• A minority group (gangs) is causing decision makers at the highest levels of our communities (and nation for that matter), to create whole new entities and rearranging whole budgets to deal with a small group (generally speaking) of individuals.
• Gangs are outperforming public education in recruiting, retaining and reproducing leaders out of our youth.
• Gangs are outperforming parents by winning the loyalty of their children.
• Gangs are generating community enthusiasm for “unity”, better, or on equal footing with other positive social movements.

That’s plenty to chew on, and to be sure, “Parents on a Mission” (POM) was not designed to address all of the above. But rather to address what I consider to be the best way to cut off the community pool of potential gang recruits, and that is to give parents the tools to earn the respect, exercise their authority and be the heroes that win the loyalty of the hearts of their children.  No gang is more enticing than the approval, acceptance and unconditional love of a parent, even in the midst of a gang infested neighborhood. And the statistics bare this out. You will learn all about this and so much more. By the end of the two day training you will be equipped and empowered with real and doable solutions on how to prevent youth from ever desiring to join a gang!

Overview of the POM Curriculum Content:

Session 1: POM Orientation

The orientation serves to introduce participants to the core values and concepts of Parents on a Mission.  In addition, the orientation serves to give parents a brief understanding about gangs and their growing influence throughout the country. However, POM is not a gang awareness curriculum. This session is not designed to give an in-depth teaching on the gang sub-culture of graffiti, hand signs, colors and other information and data usually given by law enforcement presentations.  Should participants desire this kind of knowledge, the instructor can invite a guest law enforcement (or other subject matter expert) instructor to give a presentation. POM is designed to focus on the problems that create gangs, and not on the problems that gangs create.

Session 2: Parental Personal Growth

The purpose of this first lesson is to help parents understand the importance of their own emotional growth and maturity as leaders in their home.  The material guides parents to an inside-out approach to personal growth and how it relates to their ability to nurture the growth and maturity of their children.

Session 3: Parental Authority & Gang Prevention

Parental authority is by far the most overlooked principle to gang prevention.  Because of the importance of this issue, two sessions have been devoted to the topic of parental authority and discipline.  The lesson on parental authority emphasizes why parents must win the battle of child obedience and provides principles for accomplishing this at an early age.  Parents will learn the importance of the “twelve year home field advantage” and how to maximize this vital time frame in preparing our children for dealing with peer pressure in the neighborhood and school campus.

Session 4: Parental Authority & Discipline

Parental authority and the use of discipline is a controversial topic.  Many parents are confused and afraid to exercise their right as the authority figure in the lives of their children.  This session will define the true meaning of discipline and give guiding principles on how to properly exercise parental authority.  This session will also address the controversy over the issue of spanking.  While POM does not advocate the rightness or wrongness of spanking, we do recognize that many parents do choose to spank their children and thus we provide guidance on its proper use vs. the illegality of physical abuse.  While many argue that parents should not spank their children for any reason, POM respects the choice and right of parents to spank, but to do so properly and wisely.  Finally, this lesson will help participants make the crucial link between gang prevention and child obedience.

Session 5: Community Building

Citizenship and the instruction of the individual’s role in the family and community is the purpose of session five.  Parents gain insights on the family unit as a microcosm of society and how they guide their children from dependence, to independence, and finally to interdependence as contributing members of their community.  Suggested activities are given to assist parents in how to build community in their home.

Session 6: Trust & Loyalty

One of the key elements of becoming a gang member is the willingness to pledge loyalty to the gang above everything and everyone else.  Because of the youth’s willingness to make this pledge, many families have suffered the agonizing loss of their child to prison or the grave yard.  This begs the question; why would any young boy or girl want to give away their loyalty to a street gang?  This session examines how parents are losing this battle to their competition (Gangs), and provides guidance on how to overcome and win the battle for the trust and loyalty of their children as the best practice for gang prevention that any community can invest in.

Don’t wait – ACT NOW and Enroll in this unique and timely training!

Go Here to SIGN UP NOW

Sincerely,

Richard

P.S. – Don’t forget space is limited and the cut off date to enroll is June 22, 2009.

P.P.S – Remember our special deal offer – If you enroll now you can bring a friend for free! Follow your heart and click below – Our program comes with a 100% guarantee of satisfaction or your money back, no questions asked!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:  Richard R. Ramos

Phone: (661) 326-8845

Cell: (805) 331-0902

Email: Richard@RichardRRamos.com

 

STOPPING GANGS BEFORE THEY START

Leading Authority on Gang Prevention Offers Guide to Parents, Teachers

 

BAKERSFIELD, Calif., August 2008 – Richard Ramos is not interested in finding out why some kids join gangs.  He’d much rather focus on the reasons most kids don’t join gangs.

 

In his new book, Gang Prevention and Schools: The Ultimate Guide for Parents and Teachers on How to Prevent Kids From Joining Gangs, Ramos stresses the difference between gang prevention and gang intervention – the latter of which has been tried for years with little success. Instead of focusing on the problems that gangs create, he turns his attention on the problems that create gangs. 

 

Zeroing in on the crucial importance of the family, Ramos calls his gang prevention strategy “Parents on a Mission”. He wants parents to understand that their power to influence their children is greater than any outside force – whether at school or in the neighborhood.  This hands-on guide empowers parents to raise happy, respectful, obedient children who are not looking to give their loyalty away to a second ‘family’ by joining a gang.

 

Ramos opens his book with statistics that support his claim that the majority of kids do not join gangs.  He also offers evidence showing that conventional methods of gang intervention and law suppression strategies do not work.  In Gang Prevention and Schools: The Ultimate Guide for Parents and Teachers on How to Prevent Kids From Joining Gangs, Ramos presents a new community approach that is not only logical but is realistic in how it redefines the issue and refocuses communities on where to invest their time and resources.

 

“Thank you for highlighting the challenges Latino youth face and underscoring the vision, leadership and strong moral compass that parents can provide for their children.”

– First Lady Laura Bush

 

“I have been attending gang prevention/intervention seminars and presentations for 30 years. Richard’s ‘Parents on a Mission’ presentation is THE BEST I have ever heard or seen.”

– Rich Mendel, Director, Boys and Girls Club of Carpinteria, CA

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Richard R. Ramos is widely recognized throughout the United States as an expert on gang prevention.  He is also one of the most sought-after Latino leadership speakers on progressive and effective community leadership.  In March 2005, he was recognized as a national interfaith leader through his induction into Morehouse College’s Martin Luther King Jr. International Chapel’s board of directors. Ramos was recognized by President George Bush for community leadership and service in 2007.

 

NON-FICTION, SOFTCOVER, $16.97 U.S., $20.97 CAN

Gang Prevention and Schools: The Ultimate Guide for Parents and Teachers on How to Prevent Kids From Joining Gangs, by Richard R. Ramos.  Copyright 2008.

Published by Richard R. Ramos, Inc.

Web: www.RichardRRamos.com

Tel: 1-805-331-0902

ISBN-13: 978-0-9814714-0-2

# # #

Parents Are The Best Gang Prevention Strategy

The First Family is not in the White House, it’s in your House

 

As American citizens we have been raised with the concept that the “First Family” refers to the family of the President of the United States, which resides in Washington D.C. in what we refer to as the “White House”.  This is an important honor we give the presiding President and his family as we recognize their leadership, position of authority and convey respect for their family.  Thus, when I say, “the First Family is not in the White House, it’s in your house”, it is in no way intended to disrespect or take anything away from the honor of the office of our President.  Rather, it is an attempt on my part to use this well known metaphor to catch the attention of parents and drive home a message about the importance of their role in raising their kids as the best means of preventing them from joining gangs.

 

To illustrate the importance of the role of parents, I am reminded of a conversation I had one day as I was attending the birthday party of one of my church members’ children.  The Grandfather of the child was there and as we were sitting together, we had the following exchange:

 

“Richard, I want to ask you a question.  A lot of kids in this community listen to you and with all the problems we are having with gangs and violence and these kinds of kids, why don’t you get them all together and talk to them?”  I replied, “Well that would certainly be helpful and I have and will continue to do that.  But, I don’t think that is really the best way to handle this situation”.  He looked at me somewhat puzzled and said, “What do you mean?”  I replied, “Well, since you are a gardener by profession; let me put it to you in a way that I know you will understand.  If you walked by your neighbors garden and saw that the flowers were all wilted, dry and dying, who would you rather talk to, the flowers or the gardener?”  With that a smile broke out on his face and in Spanish he told me that I was right and had a made a good point that he really had not considered before.  I explained to him that our children were like the flowers in our garden and the parents were like the gardeners, and if we really wanted to make the best and most effective prevention impact, it would be the work done with “gardeners”, more than just the “flowers”.  Thus, the first hand experience I have gained throughout my 25 plus years of working with gang members and at-risk Latino youth & families has lead me to the conclusion that parent-child relationships are the key to prevention.  This may seem too simple and obvious, but as I continue to examine and study these problems and talk with those involved in gangs or considered “at-risk” for joining a gang, it usually comes right down to the parent-child relationship, or lack thereof, that is at the root of these problems.   

 

I realize this point of view puts a lot of pressure on parents and lays much of the carcass of blame at their feet, and although I do not believe the parents are always to blame for every child who goes astray, I do think that if we parents are willing to take part of the credit for the success of our children, we ought to be just as willing to accept part of the blame when our children fail.  This does not mean that the parent is a bad person, negligent, or abusive.  But what I have found is many parents have simply never really learned many of the things I discuss and teach in my book and gang prevention curriculum, Parents on a Mission.  Those who have learned these things and practice them, in most cases, have healthy relationships with their kids who are leading productive lives. 

 

All of us have the same needs to be accepted as we are, loved for who we are, and given attention, dignity, respect, and self-worth.  We all have a need for the emotional, intellectual, social and spiritual parts of our lives being nurtured and built up to their inherent potential.  I suggest it is this fundamental understanding that is often overlooked when looking for solutions for children and teens that are joining neighborhood street gangs.  Contrary to popular belief, kids want to respect their parents and live in a healthy, happy relationship with them.  But almost all of the gang members I have talked with did not have it and were really broken hearted about it.  It became the hole in their hearts that they have tried to fill with gangs, drugs, alcohol, sex and other negative stuff that just does not fill that hole, no matter how hard and long they have tried to fill it with these other things.  I would even go so far as to say that even “good” kids who are successful in sports, academics, or other socially acceptable things, yet don’t have a healthy, happy relationship with their parents, also have that same hole or emptiness of heart, and nothing, not even “success”, can fill it like the unconditional love and acceptance of a parent.  

Thus, as we continue to search for answers to a number of issues regarding youth that are being heavily influenced by gangs, I suggest that one of the most important messages we can support is encouraging parent leadership in the home. 

 

A number of years ago I was asked by a community group that was organizing a coalition to stop gang violence in South Santa Barbara County, to come and speak at a community forum on the causes of acts of violence by youth.  As we all know, the gang lifestyle, among other things, includes acts of violence.  In fact, the initiation for gang membership is an act of violence called getting “jumped in”, which is a short period of time (usually lasting a minute or two, or more in some cases) where a number of members of the gang beat up on the new member as a way of showing their toughness and desire to be a part of the gang.  That in itself is bad enough, but as we know, the violence does not stop there.  Thus, as I prepared for my talk, I began to think deeply and draw upon all the knowledge and insight I had gained from listening to so many gang members tell me their story and their reasons for doing the things they were doing..  What I eventually came up with to share that day, has become a foundational theme I speak on every chance I get in my desire to help families and communities address the root issues of gangs and youth violence.  The following is the thought I shared that day:  

 

“Acts of violence are caused by an angry heart and an angry heart is produced by unresolved injustices (real or perceived) that young people experienced as victims usually in their own homes.”

 

These “unresolved injustices” can range from sexual, physical, verbal and emotional abuse suffered from any number of family members in the privacy of the home.  My goal in writing to parents (and those who work with parents) is to inspire us to take a moment to look inside our own hearts and be honest about any injustices we may have been a part of, and then provide instruction on how to turn our hearts towards our children, and find the strength to deal with these unresolved issues that our children may have been carrying in their hearts for years.  I know this is not easy and can be very uncomfortable, but if we can find the courage or professional help to take this loving action, I know it will make a great difference in preventing kids from joining gangs, and/or successfully intervening to cause our kids already in a gang to quit and leave the gang more than any other single factor!  I know this to be true because I have done it with my own kids and so many other youth have told me it is true, over and over again in Juvenile Hall cells, prison cells, letters, school class rooms, counseling sessions, and various other public and private settings.   Thus, the single best thing any community can invest in to prevent kids from joining gangs is building up and empowering the parents in the community.

 

Gang Prevention Guidelines for Parents

Balancing Authority with Humility 

1. Decide that a good relationship is more important than being “right”. 

As parents we must set the example of humility to our kids.  We need to be willing to re-think what we have done.  The words we used, the way we reacted to a difficult situation.  Even after we re- think it all, we may still conclude that we were “right”.  But this is not enough, or the important point, because our child has not accepted our position and is obviously upset about something.  At this point many parents take the attitude of “too bad, they will just have to get over it”.  But oftentimes they don’t.  Instead they harbor resentment and begin to disrespect us as “adults”.  Not because they think they are always right, but because we do.  Usually, kids know when they are in the wrong, but what they are reacting to is our disrespect for their views and a valuing of their development process as teenagers.  After all, didn’t most of us make the same mistakes we are now upset about, that they have repeated?  Does that have something to do with our negative, intolerant reaction?  Are we more concerned with our image as parents with others, than we are with the natural growth process of our children?  Isn’t the more important issue the fact that our child is not happy with how we have handled their mistakes?  What are we going to do with that?  At this juncture, I suggest that we need to think beyond who is right or wrong, and consider if there was not a better way to handle the situation that will allow our kids to maintain their sense of self- respect, without side stepping the issue of wrong behavior.

Maybe we need to go back and listen a little more to their side of things and make them feel understood, even if we don’t agree.  All of this is done because we want to have a good relationship and maintain our role as the prime authority figures in their lives.  My experience tells me that most kids will respond to this type of exercising our authority and they will respect us for our humility, fairness and willingness to hear them out. The bottom line is that the clear message we are sending them is that we value them as individuals and want a healthy and meaningful relationship with them that goes beyond just always having to be right.

 

 2. Admit when you are wrong and apologize 

     After practicing the “art of listening”, both with my own kids and those I have worked with over the years, I discovered that I was often wrong in my thoughts, words and deeds, plain and simple, no excuses or explanations.  It usually was a result of jumping to conclusions and/or reacting out of anger.  I discovered I was wrong in two ways. First, my conscience was bothering me in the way I had handled the situation.  Second, I went back under more control of my anger and listened.  As my kids would tearfully explain how they felt and explained their reasoning and views, only my pride would keep me from admitting to myself, and to them, that I was in the wrong.  Usually my error was in the way I handled the situation, and sometimes in my judgment of the situation, yet both called for the humility to say that I was wrong, apologize and ask for forgiveness.

I recall one time after my three oldest kids (Five in all) had become teenagers that I needed to apologize for some of the mistakes I had made with them as I was in a time of personal growth and could see that they were beginning to resent the way their younger siblings were benefiting from it.  I was more patient, understanding, lenient and flexible.  I had a short meeting with them and started to share my heart and apologize for what they had to experience with a younger and less experienced father.  I know I was not abusive, but overly strict and intolerant in ways that I knew had probably bruised their hearts in some ways.  As I turned to my oldest son (Who is my step-son, but who I have raised since he was two years old) and apologized for disciplining him too harshly at times, he begin to break down and cry.  Until that moment I had not really realized how much I had bruised his heart and he obviously had been carrying this in his heart.  I could feel and see that a healing was taking place in his heart towards me and all I could do was hug him and cry and apologize.  Up to that time, we had a good relationship, but after that I know it was deepened and better than ever before and remains so today.

I cannot remember a time that this sincere humility I have demonstrated to either gang members I was working with or with my own children, was rejected and did not elicit the same admission from them of their wrong and the offering of an apology. When children witness authority figures admit to their mistakes and apologize for them, it goes along way in establishing a respect for you and ultimately your authority.

 

  3. Be Flexible, Fair and Firm 

The ability of parents to be flexible in exercising their authority gives them a lot of credibility and favor with their growing children.  It symbolizes that you recognize they are growing up, are willing to bend the rules as a form of allowing them to earn trust and demonstrates that you understand that the “spirit” of the law is more important than the “letter” of the law.  What has helped me with this aspect is to know the difference between mistakes or accidents and defiance or willful disobedience.  As parents sometimes we can be guilty of “choking on the ant, but swallowing the Camel”.  In other words, we make the little things big things and the big things little.  And for some reason, kids are very tuned in to this kind of unfairness or injustice and have a keen sense of what is a mountain and what is a mole hill.  This is why it is a good practice to include your kids (10 years and older) in deciding what the consequences are for both good and bad behavior.  A lot of times I was pleasantly surprised at the punishment they deemed for themselves as I was not going to be as strict as they were on themselves.  But, we agreed to their terms and they were respectful of “our” decision.  I think the key here is that kids know that you have the final word, yet you are allowing them to judge themselves and this is where you can gain respect, earn loyalty and create emotional bonds that pay big dividends later on down the road when it counts.  There are times when one must be firm, and there are times when mercy and grace are called for and the wise parent will learn when to exercise them in a timely manner.  This takes perception, insight, knowledge, and experience but it also requires the ability to listen to your kids to learn how to discern different situations.  Through being flexible, fair and firm we open up the opportunities to develop character, increase the level of the relationship and cease moments for a lesson in leadership and the proper use of authority. 

  

Gang Banger in the Classroom – Principle # 7 – Priorities

The problem of “pettiness”

 Of the seven issues I have discussed here, this is one of the most common and emotionally exhausting mistakes a teacher can fall into, and while student gang members can respect rules, they resent pettiness, recognize it readily, and usually react very negatively to it.  In general I think most of us also resent pettiness when we encounter it in our daily lives.  For example, I remember getting “swatted” with the paddle in Junior High School for allowing my shirt tail to hang outside of my pants!  Can you imagine such a rule in today’s school environment?  Was that really important?  Did this rule really teach me something about character or improve my self-image?  What was the underlying principle or concern that was going on with that?  In other words, what was the thing, or root cause of the rule and could there not be a better rule to develop whatever the school was trying to develop in its students.  Well you may agree or disagree, but it was enforced with consistency and rigor on mine and others behinds.  The funny thing was that it was only my friends and others of our ethnicity that seemed to dress with that particular style, most others tucked there shirts in. 

 I realize that even today some schools do have a dress code, but this usually has to do with trying to keep the gang dress and colors off the school campus, or trying to keep enough clothes on girls to avoid too much attention from male students and faculty alike.  I also remember that the Girls Vice-Principle would stand in the hall way and pick out girls wearing skirts above the knee and would literally pull out a ruler and measure how high above the knee the skirt was right in front of everyone else!.  If it exceeded the “legal length” (Which I don’t remember what it was but it was not very high), the girl would be sent home to change.  Or how about the police officer who pulls you over at two o’clock in the morning for “rolling” through a stop sign (lovingly referred to as “the California roll”, as one cop put it and I had hoped he was talking about sushi, but he wasn’t) when there is nobody else in sight for miles and instead of warning you, actually writes you a ticket!   I am sure many of you reading this could tell your own stories of frustrating “pettiness” at school, the Bank, grocery store, with your Landlord, your insurance company, telephone bill, light bill, gas bill, neighbors, church, boss and co-workers, etc. 

 In the case of the classroom, pettiness can be in the form of getting penalized for arriving seconds after the tardy bell rings, not having a pencil or your book, or some other infraction of a whole bunch of rules the teacher has listed.  I realize that the examples I have given here may not seem “petty” to some, but the point is the fact that schools and teachers can be petty and I suggest this only leads to emotional and physical energy that could be better spent in other things than trying to play “gotcha” because of all the rules in place that set students up for failure. 

 Of course the question is what defines pettiness?  Here is Webster’s definition: insignificant; trivial; narrow-minded; or mean.”  Thus, however the teacher decides to define what rules are petty or not, I suggest the teacher make every effort to avoid falling into the daily “cat and mouse” game that pettiness invites and that some students love to play.

 To avoid this emotional time trap, the teacher must decide what is important, what their priorities are, based on principle, rather than subjective “pet peeves” when it comes to classroom culture and the rules of conduct.   Much like parents, we must choose our battles carefully, lest we be drawn into and “die on the wrong battlefield”.  We must know where we will draw the “line in the sand” and when that line is crossed we will take action for the long term good of the whole class and to demand the respect we have earned.  This takes discussion, decisiveness and discernment all of which is gained through years of experience.  A general rule of thumb is that too many rules, too many policies, and too much “zero tolerance” only begs for petty enforcement rather than discretion that allows for the solutions of student buy in, positive motivation and a transition to transforming cooperation.

 One idea to avoid being petty, or being perceived as being petty, is when at all possible to include the students in designing the class rules and the punishment for breaking “their” rules.  Maybe a focus group can be formed that is represented by one student from each period/class.  I know that this may not work or be possible in all circumstances, but it does work in some situations and it is understood that the rules and consequences are not in stone and can be reviewed and revised when necessary.  By the way, this is a good way of teaching kids the basics of how our laws are made and ratified in civic life and the role of citizens in the process.  Another tool for the teacher who has kids is to ask their own kids to evaluate their classroom rules or discuss with them situations they came across and what they did about it.  Youth have a keen sense and intuition of pettiness that we adults seem to lose the older we get.  This does not mean that they are always right or that we have to follow their advice all the time, but sometimes they are right and following their advice can work for you. 

 There is no question that emotional energy is needed in the classroom and most teachers are “spent” or empty at the end of each day as they work through all the preparation of lessons, instruction and dealing with the daily drama from period to period, let alone the drama with other teachers, the administration, parents and possibly their own personal life.  Thus, the last thing a teacher needs is to “spend” or waste their time on the “small” issues, rather than “investing” their time in the “larger” issues of educating children.  If one is not careful to examine their assumptions and objectively evaluate their classroom culture, pettiness can rule the day and steal the joy, satisfaction and significance of teaching.

    

Gang Banger in the Classroom – Principle # 6 – Meekness

Allowing disrespect and intimidation

 Fear and intimidation can be a powerful tool in the hand of a student gang member.  It is something the teacher must do their best never to give into.  If a student is using the tactic of intimidation on the teacher and perceives that the teacher is afraid, it will be considered a sign of weakness and it can result in a tough battle to earn the upper hand of respect and control of the classroom.  This of course is the objective of intimidation and fear, but in a classroom situation the teacher can often overcome this through the power of meekness.   

This may at first seem like a response of weakness in itself and certainly there are times when a teacher will have to assert themselves in a forceful and firm manner in order to take control or use fear and intimidation themselves when the situation calls for it.  But in general, meekness can be a better way of winning the war over the long haul, even though one may seemingly lose the current battle.  I am not suggesting that the teacher in an intimidating situation won’t feel the emotion of fear or even show that they are somewhat afraid.  But this display of outward emotion does not mean we are not willing to confront the situation and stay in the battle for control, respect and compliance of the disruptive student to the same standards of conduct and productivity expected of everyone else.  For example, if a student threatens or physically gets in the face of the teacher, and is obviously bigger and stronger or believed to be capable of causing harm, at that moment, a teacher may feel scared, look scared and in fact be intimidated and back down in that moment.  However, what let’s the student know that they have only won one battle and that the war itself is not over, is that the teacher will still dole out the consequences for their behavior, expect whatever it was that they wanted to be done or not done, to still be obeyed, and they will continue on with the lesson or whatever was taking place at the time for the benefit of the rest of the class.   

Believe me, if a teacher can manage this, it will be a major deposit in the hearts of the other students and gain her a lot of respect and cooperation from the others, and some will even come to her defense in the moment or later on. In other words we are showing the student(s) gang member that we will not be intimidated or fearful to hold them accountable, nor will we allow them to dictate to us, and make us make them our “enemy” for that would be playing right into their hand.  We are beyond that.  We will not be bullied into always kicking them out of class and sending them to the Vice Principals office, though that may be what they deserve, we are in control and may choose not to give them what they deserve!  We are not afraid to forgive, understand, turn the other cheek and demonstrate “power under control”, which is the true definition of “meekness”.   

Choosing to respond with the principle of meekness is not a sign of “weakness”, but rather it is a sign of true power in the stronger (whether it be physically, intellectually, authoritatively or morally) position, choosing not to exercise our power at the moment for their sakes.  I can not count all the times I have chosen this response in situations where I clearly had the upper hand when being challenged physically, mentally or emotionally by students, gang members and my own children as a father disciplining my children.   Allow me to share one more story to illustrate the power of meekness in dealing with tough situations, especially when we are trying to win over our “enemies” so to speak. 

While I was a pastor I had a member who was a heavy duty drug user and seller and had done a lot of time in prison.  I built what I thought was a good relationship with this person and went out of my way many times for him in a variety of ways as his pastor.  At one point he began to make demands on me that I just could not accept, nor would do.  He then began to intimidate me with death threats and violence that he and his brothers would do against me, my wife and kids. Had I not thought he was capable of such actions I might have blown it off, but I knew he and his brothers were very capable and I lost several nights of sleep over it as “tonight” always became the night he was going to carry out the threats.  Some of you are probably wondering why I did not call the police, and maybe I should have, but having worked in the prison and understanding his mentality of “fingering” or “ratting” him out, I just did not think that was the right course of action to solve this real threat.  Finally, one night after another threatening call, I was so fed up with his threats that I hung up and decided to take him by surprise and showed up at his house.  One of his brothers answered the door and let me in.  He (my “friend”) was shocked to see me and I calmly began to tell him that this had to end.  He immediately starting cursing at me and then slapped me across the face.  Now, in my mind I clearly had the upper hand physically and by the fact that he was high on whatever and I wasn’t.  However, when his brother saw my non-reaction of turning the other cheek, he immediately stepped in and pulled him away from me and told me to leave, which I did but not before I made it clear that I was not going to tolerate this anymore (I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I said it anyway).  The following day, this guy felt so bad about hitting me and just the fact that I did not retaliate when he knew I clearly could have as I had caught him and his brother high and off guard, that he came to the church and literally got on his knees and crying asked me to forgive him, which I did and the problem never surfaced again and his loyalty to our relationship was the stronger for it.   

This is obviously a very extreme example and to be sure, I certainly would never recommend to anybody to take the course of action I did, but I only share it to drive home the point of the power of the principle of meekness and forgiveness to someone opposing you.   I am sure there are teachers, principals, policemen, pastors and parents reading this, who could share similar stories about the power of demonstrating meekness as one response to fear and intimidation, and while it may not always work, or may not always be what we are able to decide to do, it does work as a matter of principle over time.  Thus, sometimes we have to fight fire with fire, and sometimes we have to fight fire with water, but we never want to fight fire with gasoline, which is too often the case when teachers and students clash in the classroom and things only get worse for all concerned when anger rules as the weapon of choice.  The balance between meekness and weakness is that on the one hand I choose to keep my power under control, but on the other hand I refuse to accept being disrespected and will not give in to intimidation in my home, school or classroom. 

Gang Banger in the Classroom – Principal # 5 – Poise

Taking ourselves too seriously

“Self command is the main elegance”- Ralph Waldo Emerson 

One of the greatest lessons I learned while serving as a correctional officer in two prisons was not to take myself too seriously or I would become the target of the inmates’ daily game of seeing whose “buttons” they could push to cause an officer to lose emotional control, or their “professional poise” in one way or another.  It became a game, a bet, to see how long it would take to cause the officer to explode with anger.  The inmates hardly ever meant much of what they said, and did not care that much about the stuff they did, it was all about pushing buttons and just good entertainment for people in their daily situation.  Working in this type of environment is like a daily “psychological war” game and it can cause you a lot of frustration and anger, and begin to cause you to come to work with a vendetta to get back at the person, or people for exploiting your emotions like this on a regular basis.   One crude, but poignant example of this is the lesson all correctional officers learn about answering their house floor phone and that is that you never answer that phone without looking at the receiver first!  Why?, because one of the “games” inmates like to play is with the phone receiver because it rings all day and night as officers communicate back and forth from different parts of the prison and they pick up the phone quickly and put it to their ear and talk, etc.  However, what inmates like to do from time to time for a laugh, is to sneak and smear human excrement on the receiver and when the office picks up the phone without looking at it first and puts it to their ear, well, you can imagine the rest.   I remember seeing this happen to a woman officer one day that the inmates did not particularly like and what a scene that was!  To this day I still never answer any phone without looking at it first!  Thus, while in this example, I would have lost my poise as did my colleague that day, the point is that what made her the target of such a crass prank was that she was one that took herself too seriously (for the inmates anyway), and they wanted to find a way to push her buttons. 

In general, it follows that if those of us in leadership or positions of authority, working in a high risk environment begin to take ourselves too seriously, it can cause us to become a target to those who love to provoke you out of your comfort zone.   My staff and I used to fight this psychological war everyday at the Teen Center also where I was the Director (as I referred to earlier in the book).  The kids would love to do this “button pushing”, as I call it, as a kind of soft way of rebelling or defying authority from a place where the provoker is relatively on safe ground since he or she is really not doing anything too serious other than just playing with your mind too see how far they can go and learn what makes you tick and where your anger buttons are, etc. And believe me, most of the time, it is a planned event and the “innocent” by-standers are usually part of the plot and have talked the one provoker into the act that they all believe will get the desired result of anger that they can all laugh at later. 

After dealing with this in the prisons, school campuses and at the Teen Center, I learned that it doesn’t hurt to lighten up, loosen up and be able to laugh at yourself once in awhile and not be so serious 100% of the time even though you might be in a tough daily environment like a Teen Center working with at-risk youth or a classroom with student gang members who love to push your buttons.   I remember back in Junior High School a few of my friends and I decided to give a “pay back” to our teacher as she always seemed to be “picking” on one of us (Of course the truth is we were always disrupting the class).  On this particular day, I was chosen to be the “provoker” by placing a thumb tack on the stool she always sat on when she was addressing the class.  The excitement and anticipation for those of us in “the know” was just too much fun and things got out of hand when the climatic moment came and she sat on her stool only to jump right back out of it with an awkwardness and disfigured face that none of us could maintain our poise to and we were somehow implicated as having something to do with it?  I am sure you get “the point” (pun intended) by this story and what I am discussing here, that when we take ourselves too seriously and don’t seem to possess the ability to have a little levity in our learning environment (which this teacher clearly did not have) sometimes others will take it into their own hands to break the monotonous monotone of seriousness.   One thing about us “Latinos/Chicanos” is that we love to “cap” (slang for making fun of) and play “practical jokes” and if a teacher has a room full of us she can expect that a lot of capping and practical jokes will take place. If she can learn to “take it”, or better yet, learn how to “cap” back, without crossing the line, it goes a long way with Latino students in developing rapport, respect and receptiveness of instruction. 

The wise thing to do when one finds themselves the victim of “capping” is to respond with poise and laughter, or at least a smile (Not in the case of the thumb tack incident of course, that went way beyond capping), which will signal to the one capping (and everyone else watching) that you can “take it”.  Believe it or not, with most Latino youths, this goes a long way in building rapport and earning their respect, especially if you are quick witted and know how to “come back” in a way that makes the others go, “ooohhhhhh” and make the person who capped on you laugh while their face turns red!  Having “poise” or practicing the principle of poise was not something we learned in “teachers’ school”.  However, as we know, our education did not end when we graduated but really began the day we entered the real world of the daily class room and developing poise is a skill we need and can still acquire.  Thus, I suggest that understanding and learning to develop our poise will help us encounter and overcome some of the daily battles we will most likely encounter in working with “at-risk” or defiant and disobedient youth.   

The word poise is defined as; a counterweight, regulating power, balance, equilibrium, self-possession and composure.  It is a kind of inner tranquility, that some have suggested is one of the best ways to manifest one’s true power and authority or command of the situation.  This is important to understand because while the class room is ideally a place of learning, it is often a place of a subtle and sometimes not so subtle battle for control and power.  And thus, the teacher needs a strategy that will produce a win for them and a win for the students.  Thinking “win-win” is vital on the “psychological battlefield” because if all we concern ourselves with is winning for ourselves, we can miss the other opportunity that exists which is the conversion of our “competition” while at the same time establishing our control and power in the class room.   

How is this done?  One way is through the exercising of our poise as a “counterweight” or balance to the disruptive, rude and defiant behavior meant to intimidate us and render us powerless as an authority figure in our own domain.  As I stated, this is a battle that must be won by the teacher, yet, there is more to winning than just squelching and defeating your competition, which is within the power of the teacher to do and usually the instinctive reaction of power in the classroom.  I suggest that a choice to respond with tranquility and poise during times of being the subject of laughter is a powerful demonstration of control and power that can not only give others a sense of security and peacefulness, but also serve to win over their hearts as they witness a better way of handling disrespect, discourteousness and discomfort. 

 “Remember that there is always a limit to self-indulgence, but none to self-restraint.”-         Mahatma Gandhi 

Gang Banger in the Classroom – Principle # 4 – Understanding

Intolerance for Ignorance 

“In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.”- Fourteenth Dalai Lama   

One of the great qualities of all the world’s most influential religious teachers such as; Buddha, the Prophet Mohamed, Confucius and Jesus Christ, was their demonstration of patience and understanding for the ignorance of their followers as they endeavored to take them to deeper levels of knowledge, wisdom and spiritual insight.  For example, there are many examples of the Disciples of Christ asking for an explanation and greater understanding of the sometimes very unorthodox teaching of Jesus.  What patience and understanding he exemplified for us teachers as he walked the Disciples through their ignorance and into the deeper knowledge of eternal truths.  The tolerance and understanding, skill and simplicity with which he dealt with their ignorance serves as a good model for any would be teacher, aspiring  to reach the not so easy to teach.   Ignorant is what we all are when it comes to a new area of knowledge, and the gulf between knowledge and ignorance can be deep and wide depending on a number of different factors such as age, culture, background, language, emotional health, and motivation to learn, just to name a few.  The wise teacher is aware and empathetic to all these factors and assumes nothing about those they are about to teach a particular subject.  They keep in mind that they were also once ignorant of many things and it was because of someone who had the patience and tolerance for their ignorance that allowed them to grow and gain the knowledge and expertise they now possess. 

This understanding and attitude helps students to learn and not be afraid to show their ignorance to a teacher who they feel safe with because they are assured, encouraged, and understood by the “master teacher”.  Thus, tolerance for ignorance is an essential quality teacher’s need.  The effective teacher knows that expertise or knowledge of the subject matter is not enough, but must be coupled with understanding of their students in order to effectively communicate and cause the transfer of knowledge from the learned to the ignorant.   The ability to take what is difficult and make it simple, or at least seem simple, is the teacher’s task.  

 “The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”- Hans Hofmann 

A teacher is one who clarifies, sheds light on a new path, and while this is not always easy, it goes a long way in the class room where students are dependent on the teacher for growing in knowledge.  However, if the teacher does not possess this quality of tolerance and patience with the ignorant, it can make for a frustrating time for both the teacher and students. I’ll never forget an incident that took place in my seventh grade math class, which was loaded with the “lower track” students, in regards to our capacity in math problem solving.  One day the teacher was frustrated because we just weren’t “getting it” and he decided to pick on one of the students by asking him in front of the whole class what the “obvious” answer was to the problem he was showing us on the chalk board.  I remember sitting there as the teacher continued to ask my friend for the answer and berating him each time he answered wrong, to which we all laughed for each wrong answer and to which the teacher grew angrier and angrier.  “Come on Stephen, this is one you can get right” I remember saying to myself as we could all see the anger building up in the teacher’s face.  He finally called my friend up to the front of the class to embarrass him even more and finally grew so angry that he slapped him across the head (Back then a teacher could get away with that as corporal punishment had not been outlawed yet) because he couldn’t answer what was a seemingly easy problem to figure out that he had been explaining for most of the time in the class.  The class suddenly grew silent and I will never forget the look of embarrassment, humiliation and loss of dignity on Stephen’s face that day due to the teachers’ lack of tolerance for ignorance.  It wasn’t that my friend knew the answer and was just trying to give the teacher a bad time to make the class laugh at the teacher.  He really did not know the answer, but worse yet; he was really trying to figure it out as we all laughed and the teacher got angry.   This might seem like an extreme example, but, the point is the student in the above scenario did not learn, grow or advance in knowledge that day and I can’t help but wonder how often this occurs in the class room, particularly with “at-risk” youth, where the teacher has little tolerance for student’s who can’t “keep up” and either doesn’t know how or doesn’t want to go the extra mile to re-explain in different terms, exercise patience or try to understand what is holding back a student or the class from growing in their learning of the subject matter at hand.  Don’t get me wrong here (especially if you are a teacher reading this), I am not suggesting that a teacher put up with consistent defiance and lack of cooperation from unmotivated students in their classes.  I have been on both sides of that equation and understand quite well that a defiant, unmotivated student is sometimes beyond the patience and tolerance I am talking about here.  Nevertheless, it is also sometimes true that a teacher needs to acknowledge their lack of tolerance for ignorance, and I suggest that one way to counter this is by responding to ignorance with understanding first and then seek to be understood by the student.  Dr. Stephen Covey calls this one of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People; “seek first to understand”, and I believe if teachers practice this principle with students who are having difficulty grasping the knowledge in a particular subject, it will eventually produce the transfer of knowledge needed. 

There is something very liberating to the soul when it feels “understood”.   The quote below was taken from a study that was published in 1960, Mexican American Youth: forgotten youth at the crossroads, by Celia S. Hunter of Hunter College (Random House).  It is very interesting to read this study and realize that not much has changed in the public schools since that time.  But for our purposes here, this quote re-enforces my suggestion on the principle of tolerance for ignorance, especially when it is understood that many Hispanic/Latino student gang members are coming into the situation with cultural, environmental and emotional handicaps and any hint by the teacher that gives these students the perception of inferiority, is a sure catalyst for the ongoing statistical nightmare of the Latino student drop out rate; “…the teacher probably occupies a strategic position for influencing Mexican American upward mobility.  One gains insight into the potential importance of this position when talking with Mexican Americans who have been occupationally successful.  Careful questioning reveals that there is almost always an individual, often a teacher or principal, whom such mobile persons credit for their accomplishments.  For example, a Mexican American college graduate described his school history; “I was discouraged about even going to elementary school until I reached the fifth grade…I had been kicked out of four schools already as a problem child.  In the fifth grade, at California Street School, the principal, without asking any questions as to why I had transferred, asked if I wanted to be a safety monitor…from then on I became interested in school in spite of the fact that I was afraid the other boys would razz me for being a school stooge.  Another Mexican American, a student at the University at California, testified: “As long as I live I will never forget a sixth grade teacher I had…her encouragement made me want to make something of myself.  She planted the seeds of college in my head…words of encouragement and acceptance meant a great deal to me.” – (pg. 49, 50) 

As I have been careful to point out in my book, Got Gangs?”, in my opinion the parent has the major role in assuring the future success of their children.  However, second to the parent is the teacher and my hope is to encourage the teachers role as an inspiration to high risk Latino youth in the classroom, and exercising or developing tolerance for ignorance is one way of doing so.   

Gang Banger in the Classroom – Principle # 3 – Communication

Awareness of the wrong vocabulary 

Oftentimes teachers and school administrators are unaware that their instructions and explanations go right over the heads of many of their students because of their choice of words.  I remember accompanying many students to a meeting with a teacher or with the Vice-Principle as their advocate and sitting there with the student listening to what they were being told.  One time as the Vice-Principle was trying to convey to the student that if they didn’t want to be considered a gang member, they should not be associated in any way with gang members, she said, “If it walks like duck, talks like a duck, and acts like a duck, then it probably is a duck”. After we left the office I asked, “Did you understand what the V.P. was saying to you?” to which the student replied, “No”.  This was not a matter of whether or not the student could understand or speak English, but simply a matter of the choice of words used and the V.P. and not being aware of, or not caring about, being understood.  I can hear some teachers saying, “Well I’m not going to come down to their level of speech, they are going to have to come up to mine”, well OK, but in the meantime, they still don’t understand. 

This is a dilemma because students should improve their vocabulary.  Yet, what does it hurt to explain things in a couple of ways in order to make sure we are teaching and not just talking?   As teachers we are primarily communicators and one of the key principles for quality communication is to understand your audience.  To know who you are speaking to and at what level to share your knowledge, information or message so that it penetrates in a lasting and effective way.  Vocabulary is a matter of who I am speaking to.  One set of words for one kind of audience and another set of words for another.  I speak one way around my family and friends, and another around professionals and still another around teens.  The issue is not simply talking and being heard by the listeners, but rather using my words to connect with my audience and engaging their heart and mind to at least understand, if not also to agree, with the message or teaching. 

The other important key in communication is our ability to listen empathetically, or to practice “empathic listening” as it is called.  Of course this is not always practical in the daily setting of a class room, however, wherever and whenever possible, I suggest that if a teacher, who is dealing with a problem student that is constantly disrupting the class, could make time for listening, a powerful form of communication, the student will many times reciprocate and listen when the teacher is teaching.  This attentiveness, coupled with the teacher’s appropriate vocabulary will make for a productive class room environment.  I am not suggesting that a teacher should not incorporate “new words” into the instruction so as to help student’s increase and improve their vocabulary.  But I am suggesting that more value be given to whether or not true communication is taking place between the instructor and the students and one measure of true communication is the ability of the instructor to communicate knowledge and important information in terms that the student understands.  After all, effective teaching is really not a matter of what the teacher knows, but how much the students know what the teacher knows